Artist information/interview:
Interviewer: Beverley Jane Smith
Interviewee: ___A.I.N___ (Taylor McCarte)
1.MUSICAL BACKGROUND of A.I.N
As a creative individual, following your inspirations from your musical career/journey, please tell us:
- A bit about your backgrounds within music? (Also include how long have you been creating/producing)
- Who & what else encouraged you to go on to create music?
ANSWER:
I’ve been making my own music since I was about 16. I started with playing guitar (very poorly, at age 7) then taking it seriously when I was 14, learning to play bass along the way. I picked up pieces of keyboard playing through watching piano/keyboard players, and through bass playing, adapting one to the other in my own way.
For producing, that started in high school, doing music with technology, writing more material, learning the basics, then going to college and getting through to HND, and a brief yet useless stint in university, right before the pandemic hit.
I kind of picked up the producing thing gradually, subconsciously wanting to be my own leader, creatively, finding a means of expression, since I’ve always had trouble expressing how I really feel. Admittedly, I am somewhat of an obsessive type - if I’m into something, I practically submerge myself in it. Once I went down this particular rabbit hole, there was no going back. I learned as much as I could, took in as much music as I could (still do to this day) and I seem to be constantly thinking about it, even when I don’t realise it.
AIN itself, however, is something born from both necessity, and enormous pain. I reached a point in my life where who, where and what I was started to take its; toll on me. My mental health reached a depth I never thought I’d reach. Ironically, from there, I began making music to cope, making AIN what it is - a filter for nightmarish thoughts, and a man struggling to exist, trying to justify why he exists.
The word AIN has two meanings.
One is derived from Hebrew numerology - meaning zero. This felt oddly appropriate - I was quite literally at a point where I truly believed I had been reduced to zero. But likewise, it also meant I could do as I pleased, and not worry about following something up, improving on a song with a better song, for instance. The lack of need for repetition and visible formula provided a huge level of freedom for me.
The other comes from a Swiss musician named Martin Eric Ain, born Martin Eric Stricker, late bassist and co-founder of the bands Hellhammer and Celtic Frost. The latter went on to shape the very idea of experimentation in metal and the idea of extreme metal. One of his pieces became an instant classic - A Dying God Coming into Human Flesh, from the bands’ final album, Monotheist, in 2006, two years prior to the final dissolution of the band.
The name AIN is meant to pay respect to Stricker in the forms of the actual name, and the notion of musical freedom. Celtic Frost worked at their best when they did as they pleased. Also, playing bass, my music has a lot of bass presence, so this, to me, is a sign of appreciation, and also a desire of mine, finding my own balance.
My first album, Vanitas, was a difficult one. All of its’ lyrics deal directly with the prospect of my own death - more specifically, via suicide. Writing the music and lyrics, especially the ironically titled Hope, was a means of trying to help myself. It took time, but the initial version of Vanitas that existed helped me greatly. The album went through some adjustments, even having the three-year-old guitar tracks re-recorded in July, two months prior to its' release. Yet Vanitas has helped me come to terms with myself (an ongoing process) and almost immediately after completing it, a second album emerged around two months after. It felt like an odd sort of follow up, yet stands firmly on its’ own feet, feeling stronger overall.
2. INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS
-What are your favourite genres?
-Favourite artists?
-Favourite musical eras? (Year of - Music, Visuals, Style/Fashion)
ANSWER:
Linkin Park has been with me since I was very young. I wanted to be a singer because of Chester Bennington and Mike Shinoda. Like many, Chesters’ death was truly devastating, especially given the circumstances. Even still, the band and their music has always stuck with me, making me very aware of the idea of artist identity, and how production can factor into this - with both live and studio work, with audio, visuals, and perception all playing key factors in my own growth.
Paradise Lost had a huge impact on me as a songwriter. The idea of me writing and performing really became solidified because of them. Singer Nick Holmes, and his depressing lyrics provided an odd sense of comfort, and even encouraged me to try my hand at lyricism. Lead guitarist and songwriter Greg Mackintosh, admittedly, is part of the reason I perform vocals at all. I’m not a vocalist by talent - it’s out of necessity, a need to get how I felt off my chest.
Upon a few attempts, I felt my voice had a similarity to his (that could be all in my head of course) but also to that of Justin K Broadrick of Godflesh, an industrial band who shaped both metal and industrial music in their own way. Mackintoshs’ style of writing with PL, his other band Vallenfyre, and its successor, Strigoi (in both of which, he is the vocalist) deeply inspired me to delve further into more aggressive sounds, from a production standpoint. This in turn, let me make even angrier music, sonically and lyrically.
Lately, I’ve delved into bands like Swallow the Sun, Insomnium, and the works of musician Tuomas Saukonen - Before the Dawn, Wolfheart, Black Sun Aeon, Dawn of Solace - all being from Finland. Others like Katatonia, At the Gates, Bloodbath (Sweden) Moonspell (Portugal) Sleep Token (UK) Septicflesh (Greece) Gojira (France) and Schammasch (Switzerland) have all impacted me greatly, as of late.
Other old favourites include American bands Fear Factory, Machine Head, Crowbar, Nile, Mudvayne, Tool, A Perfect Circle, Trivium, Zeal & Ardor, Static-X.
For a musical era, I’d say anywhere from the 1990s onward. Sure, lately, there has been a huge influx of new artists coming out, which has caused some dilution of the idea of what is acceptable. There are more artists pushing boundaries now than ever, with a lot of them remaining largely unseen by the media, or the public. Yet the times we are in now can only lead to new methods of variation, which must be grasped with both hands, and wrung out for best results.
3. TYPICAL QUESTION
-Where do you see yourself in 2 years’ time? (Still within music or taking a different creative venture?)
-Creative blocks – Have you experienced a creative block and if so, how did you overcome this?
ANSWER:
In two years, ideally, I’d like for at least my next two albums, and one of my two EPs to see the light of day. The second album I noted already, but my third seems like the culmination of a trilogy, amalgamating influences of the previous two, and becoming its own beast. The EPs are different, as they begin the descent into more extreme territory.
As far as creative blocks go, the two EPs actually factor into that notion. They were initially supposed to be my fourth and fifth album and were begun just before the first lockdown here in the UK. With time, I came to the conclusion that the music for the fourth album (first EP) wasn’t up to task, so in a moment of depression and insecurity, I shelved all of it, bought two plugins for my guitar and bass sounds, and started again. This resulted in a further three albums being made and completed by June of this year, with a seventh nearing completion, an eighth in its infancy, and a ninth in mind as of right now.
4. MUSIC/ARTISTIC INTERESTS
- What artists would you like to see yourself collaborate with?
ANSWER:
If I could, I’d love to work with Strigoi, Schammasch, Tuomas Saukonen, Swallow The Sun, even the late Martin Eric Ain, his surviving Celtic Frost co-founder Thomas Gabriel Fischer (now frontman/guitarist of Triptykon) late Type O Negative singer/bassist Peter Steele,Kirk Windstein of Crowbar in his solo outings, or Christos Antoniou, guitaris, songwriter and orchestral conductor of Septicflesh and Chaostar.
I’d want to work with them on their own outings, as a musician, partial writer, or even mixing/mastering their works, to the best of my abilities. To me, this would be almost like repaying a debt or showing gratitude to them for their influence on me.
5. MUSIC DEVELOPMENT AND VISUAL CREATIVITY
- What is your creative process like? How long would creating one track and one album take, taking into consideration your creative freedom as in independent artist?
ANSWER:
The process for me is an odd one. It used to be I’d write full songs, then lyrics and make things work from there, but now, things have changed. From writing my fourth album, I began writing lyrics first, yet without any music or intention of putting music to them. I would just write and see where my mind would go and let myself work from there. Doing this began to give me ideas of song, which I’d attempt to write.
For the music itself, I start with guitar or bass, either having something in mind, or just playing out of enjoyment. If something works, I record it on my phone, meaning I heard a drum pattern in my head. From there, I work on the drums (of which are programmed) to flesh the song out, providing the overall structure, then completing the song on whichever instrument I started the song on.
In rare instances, like my fifth and seventh albums, I go in with something of an overarching theme or concept in mind, of which is especially the case for the seventh. The fifth became something vastly different to my original blueprint, and the seventh has largely followed the course, with some interesting deviations coming into play.
Something odd came to mind, though. With AIN, I give myself another name - Null. AIN is the project; Null is the shadow lurking inside. I should be clear, I don’t consider myself and Null to be two separate entities, like other artists do - we are one and the same. Becoming Null, wearing a mask to obscure my face was oddly appropriate, as I believe that who I was before learning to become myself (psychologically speaking) was like wearing a mask. The feelings I speak of on Vanitas, and the other concepts I delve into as of late all feel faceless - I cannot, for the life of me, picture any face singing these lyrics.
The mask helps this, providing me with this gloomy aesthetic, allowing the shadows to truly come alive. I credit myself as Null, as now I’m fully comfortable with that being my artist’s name. The images I’ve shared in the mask present the image of a walking shadow, further signifying the emptiness, and the darkness that has long been within me, now flooding the surface, showing itself to be an enormous part of, and is all too undeniably real. Oftentimes, have I felt like a shadow, like little more than something that fades away. All of this has been helping me come to terms with myself, and still does now, going hand in hand with the music and lyrics I write.
6. THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. (Before COVID of course)
- Your take on the current music industry… Are we expanding genre, sound, and inclusion wise?
- In your genre, what are some of the roadblocks you may come across?
ANSWER:
In metal, roadblocks are everywhere, especially for one like myself, who suffers from emotional issues, anxiety, and depression (not officially diagnosed of course). One can be one’s own worst enemy, regardless of what stage is reached, or how much is achieved, but going at it alone, like myself can be extremely daunting. My way of thinking is that I am doing this purely for myself. In a way, thinking selfishly, to an extent, has allowed me to maintain a stability within myself, helping me understand that success is material, but what I create is the endgame.
Other roadblocks come from elitism, of which is nothing short of a plague upon any form of art, but none more toxic than in metal. Progress and acclaim can be made, all while some putrid little group on some rancid social media platform looks down upon you, while they sit comfortably (think Lady Gaga, and her issues in the beginning). Such things can drive a hopeful musician down a path they never intended or wanted, all because people cannot keep their filthy mouths shut, permanently.
Accessibility is a big issue, too. In hip hop for instance, it seems as though just about anyone with the right connections can become rich and famous overnight, regardless of talent. While there has been strong talent in hop emerging lately, there has been twice as many emerging without talent, riding the coattails of others, claiming to be original. This is backed by a seemingly bottomless well of a market for the genre too, especially now, in 2021. With metal, elitism definitely holds things back, but so does repetition, and nostalgia. In rock in general, the genre is far too focused on indie, which has seemingly become dominant now, despite a lot of indie bands not quite being “independent” and mimicking a lot of their ideas, right down to appearances (oddly enough, this seems to extend to physical attributes too, either that, or I’m definitely going insane).
Prospective hopefuls get pushed aside now if they are classed as too heavy, and a lot of rock charts don’t have a lot of rock music on them - more artists in pop and R’n’B are using rock influences yet are somehow labelled as such. Pop punk in particular caused a serious issue here, with a huge sum of bands all copying each other, the exact same as the metalcore, nu metal, grunge, and hair metal scenes that came before them.
With pop punk however, it’s the exact same thing that keeps happening - a band starts out, gets big by following the crowds and trends, deviates musically, loses some ground, reverts a little bit, goes bigger, then becomes obscured from public consciousness. This happened so many times within the space of a decade, that the pop punk scene has - at least to me - become like the higher ups of the indie scene - too big for its own good, obscuring other artists of a greater talent, purely because of a perceived audience, which is exaggerated across the board thanks to streaming, which doesn’t quite match up to concert attendance and actual fan support.
7. MUSIC MOTIVATION
- What motivates you to create music?
- For your listeners, how do you hope your music will impact them?
ANSWER:
The idea of people reacting to my music is extremely confusing for me. On one hand, I hope people can hear my work, enjoy it, and take something away from my words, which are the emotional core of course. On the other, I never make music for anyone other than me. I go into something of a tunnel when I write, and record, meaning that the whole world almost disappears for a while. Ultimately, I’m still not sure how to fully feel about it, because I still don’t know how to take people’s reactions, despite sometimes wanting one, I keep wondering how one really feels, wanting more than a simple one-word answer.
This type of issue just feeds further insecurities, hence why I go into my own little world.
Initially, my declining mental health drove me... Dealing with my issues for far too long, I reached a breaking point, where I knew that I wasn’t well... Upon the initial completion of Vanitas, the second and third albums came, and then the EPs, and the next three albums. All of this occurred inside three years. These days, it really is finding new ways to get my ideas into sonic form.
8. PRODUCING
-Have you produced for other artist/musicians, or is this something you would pursue in the future?
ANSWER:
In the short time I was in university, I took part in a placement unit, working in my old high school. Dealing with 5th and 6th year Music Tech pupils, I encountered an indie band called The Almonds. The singer of the band turned out to be the younger brother of someone in my year. Meeting him and the bassist, getting to know them and hearing their music, I created duplicate files of the sessions and tried a few techniques I’d learned over the years.
Hearing positive feedback, I offered to mix and master their first three songs, which would become their debut EP, ‘Danced All Nite’. The band are largely self-reliant, which is admirable, and very talented, clearly capable of a lot more. Admittedly, we dealt with a limited setup by way of the schools’ equipment, which the music department has struggled to get funding for. Despite these limitations, and admittance from myself that I could have done better, hopefully I can work with them again, as that experience provided me with a much-needed renewal.
9. LIVE PERFORMANCES
-What would be your dream performance? (Gigs or tour idea’s)
ANSWER:
I feel like AIN is best suited to limited gigs, as full-blown tours would make me want to quit, given the sheer volume of borderline horror stories that have been emerging over the last fifteen years or so. If anything, I’d have a decent sized stage and room, with a live unit consisting of five members - two guitarists, a bassist, a drummer, and myself performing vocals and lead guitar, alternating to just vocals on songs that don’t require the sonic approach of three guitars. The room would be lit almost dimly, providing a haunting atmosphere, with ambient music played between sets of songs, or individual songs, with limited dialogue from myself, likely saying something dramatic to introduce the approaching song. All in, a tense, yet eerie atmosphere, with myself as Null, masked, and hooded.
Truthfully, the idea is intimidating, as I believe this will take time before such a lofty ambition can be realised, but lately, I have been finding ways to perform both vocals and guitar, practising, and thinking about it, applying thought to action, and working with the results.
10. NEXT STEPS
-What is next in store for A.I.N?
ANSWER:
Ideally, early 2022 will see the release of Morality Despised, my first EP. This three track affair hold’s three very different songs - a slow, eerie doom-laden piece, about a corrupted angel, a death/doom metal number, lyrically inspired by the BBC series Dracula, and a faster closing piece, going through a lyrical nihilistic train of thought.
After that, the second album, when I feel the time is
right. Beyond that, I’ll keep writing and recording, making sure I have enough to keep putting out for a long, long time.
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